WILL the REAL SHANE WARNE PLEASE COME BACK???

Let me live Ricky, I have better things to do than spinnin leather...

How lame can Australians get. After using all the gimmicks like psychological mind games, media warfare, parking lot brawls and a host of other things that I am unaware of due to my lack of interest in Australian politics. The Australians have tried pulling another trick from Ricky's guide to lame tricks. They have tried calling back Warne to counter England. How poor can this get.

Of course this is not the Australian Cricket Board, but the general mass who are trying to bring the legend back. They even have started a website by the name www.bringbackwarne.com, where in they collect petitions to bring back Warne. Australians who drop players like Symonds on basis of binge drinking will not be entertained by such public outcry.

I think Australian mass is much like its cricket captain who when nothing works go to Warne. Its like talking on a local train.
Australian 1: Hey we got whipped by England
Australian 2: What the hell we do mate
Aussie 1: Hey bring back Warne
Aussie 3: I am starting a website, 4 will do outdoor, 5 will go for digital etc. Lets crowd the webspace with this. Hooray nothing can stop us from regaining the Ashes once Warne is back.
Aussie 6: Hey lets bring on McGrath too.
Aussie 8 : Hey great idea lets bring Lee and Gillespie too. One is out injured and other is a commentator on Channel 9.
Aussie 1: Hey why don't bring Lillee and Thomo back, they are much better than Lee and Gillespie.
Aussie 10: Tell you what Ricky's captaincy sucks lets bring Ian Chappell back, heard he has written a book on Captaincy.
Aussie 9: No can do that mate, he is pretty sore from the punch he got from Mr. BEEFY.
Aussie 10: Ok Bring on Steve Waugh the ice man.
Aussie 11: Hey what's Watson doing opening lets bring back Sir Don......

And the story goes on...

But the important thing is Australian cricket team has an uphill task ahead, they have taken a good step by bring Mitch back and dropping North, Lets see what happens. Coz anything can happen over an URN..

Ricky's Revenge

Two test down and trailing by 1 is not an ideal situation for an Australian citizen who has the captaincy of the world's fastest deteroriating team in an Ashes series that is taking place in Australia. Instead of analyzing what went wrong, I will concentrate on what Ricky needs to do to regain the Ashes in the next three Tests.

HELP ME TO HELP ME

1. Do black magic. Take some hair from McGrath's receding hairline and tie it to a doll that looks like Siddle. Take some hair from Shane Warne's head and tie to a doll that looks like Doherty. And hope that black magic actually works.
2. Take some lessons from the Indian bowling line-up. Admit your bowling line up is shit and mentally prepare your batting line-up to score 500 every time they hit the pitch. And if the bowlers do take some wickets, label your bowlers the next McGrath, Warne etc.
3. Understand that this is not F1 where the fastest wins, hence tell your bloody bowlers to stop concentrating on pace, physique and mustache and concentrate on line, length and swing.
4. Understand that bowling is not all about hitting top of the off stump, but also line, length and pace variation.
5. Tell some Englishman preferably KP to verbally take on one of your bowlers, this is the best way to motivate Indian bolwers which we have seen for years, eventhough his bowling will not improve but he will wag with the tail and score 50 after 50 and end the season on a high.
6. Stop placing fielders in absurdly silly places just to show that you have planned something big, and place regular slips instead of placing fly slips, second gully third cover and don't know what kind of field settings.
7. Start telling the your batsman that Hussey and Katich is not the only player who has to play Test Cricket. It is the duty of every batsman to make an effort to play Test Cricket.
8. Tell Katich where the stumps are!!!!
9. When things don't go your way, Ricky don't start itching your baggy green but instead DO SOMETHING!!
10. Tell your commentators to behave and not take on other ex-players to show how bad a loser Australians are!!!