Monday, March 29, 2010


My rendevouz with a damn genie

One not so fine day I was walking across a lake and I happened to chance upon an empty beer can. When I by chance trying to see something was left to wet the man’s throat and suddenly from the cloud of smoke a damn genie appeared.

Then the regular conservations took place ( I really am tired of this stuff) and he decided to grant me a SINGLE wish. I asked him :
“ Damn man I was working like hell to release a genie who was going to grant my five wishes and here you are, and you are going to grant just a single wish, what are you hit by recession or something or stuck on a low paying job”

Genie:- “ Hey don’t damn me I am the genie here remember and first of all you were trying to wet your throat like all my other masters, that’s the reason why I first of all chose to be trapped under a beer bottle and not in some old-age antique lamp which nowadays usually ends up in a museum with high security, so no bloddy fool can either rub it or even touch it.
Secondly, yes I was hit by the slow-down hence I have to grant ur single wish. Now ask it fast so that I can be set free from this stinking low-grade roadside beer bottle.”

Me: Alright then no need to get so stuffy genie boy here’s ma wish “Give me shit loads of money”

Genie: One another thing before I got into this genie business I was a reputed lawyer in a big Boston Firm during the 1930 Great American Depression, hence do not use those words before me like “Stuffy” “shitloads” and “ma” , ( boy what a rustic idiot).
Now before I give you your shit loads of money I would like you to view your tax ramifications. Its like more than 33 % of your shit load. And according to me being a genie of the past a shit load would be around 1 lakh Rupees, if that is your currency. Hence you will be left with around 66000 rupees. Hence after some service taxes and all that kind of stuff you will left with 60000 bucks do you really want that option.

Me: Yeah what a genius you are Mr. genie so I would go for another wish

Genie: Go ahead lad

Me: What about making me the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. Good thing, name wealth steady income what more could a 22 year old would want. Ain’t I smart?

Genie: Not so smart lad. First of all I don’t think that you read your papers that much do you?. First of all a sudden emergence of a non-listed company inside the Fortune 500 would create a havoc inside the financial world. All the law firms and lawyers in the world would swoop down like vultures and will ask you to show your assets your source of revenue, your plans. What are you gonna tell them that you have genie in the beer bottle huh, Boy you are going to be trapped for a long time behind the bars.

Me: Hmmm… Then this is a tricky proposition and I am treading on dangerous waters( use of good language to impress the genie). After thinking long and hard for around 5 seconds Okay I have decided “Make me the owner of an already established company”

Genie: So you really want to get killed rather than go to jail hey lad. You really don’t read your papers. The moment you become the owner the real owner who might have to be killed, his brothers and sisters and the whole family will come hard on you. Not for avenge his death but to get that bloddy chair. And then you will be on parole of some pretty nasty cops and even on the list of some not very good men. So think boy think!

Me: Oh shit man, I did not know it was that hard to make a wish. I have seen guys on screen make very simple but stupid wishes. Like getting wisdom, knowledge, eternal life. Now why do you need any of these money alone is sufficient to cover all of these. My brain has already been racked by weighing your different options and I cannot think anymore. So the only thing right now I could think of is GO TO HELL MR. GENIE. I don’t want you see your face and thou shall rot in hell. So off you go into the stinking bottle of yours and never ever show your bloody face again.

Genie: Same old story eh!!!!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Save our Tiger's Commercial

A very fine initiative by India’s leading company Aircel to save the tigers have taken the advertising world by storm. A very noble cause, an initiative that should have been a long time back, especially when there were more than 1411 tigers left. The problem that I have with this campaign is nothing but a very trivial matter. But as a marketing student I would really like to bring it up.

The advertisement shows members of the Chennai Super Kings team MS Dhoni and Suresh Raina bringing to light, the plight of the 1411 tigers left in the country. But would audience connect to this plea. I know this is the IPL season and they are going to be the most visible and talked stars right now on the television media. But really cricketers endorsing a social cause is a little hard to digest.

A better and more effective way out would be someone from the environment front, a Shashi Tharoor or even a Mrs. Azmi would have been much more effective. Because the moment people see them it reminds them of standing for a cause. Such is the demeanor of such powerful individuals. A Mr. Bachchan would also been effective given the father like image that he has created with his on-screen charisma.

Here in this advertisement we could get confused signals, I mean yes everybody understands what they are about to say but Dhoni rooting for a cause just when he is leading his side to defeat is a little difficult to digest. Anyway we can only generate opinions and debate about what is right and what is wrong, but we need to have a close look at a grave situation here, that is the dwindling number of tigers in our country. I am happy Aircel has understood its Corporate Social Responisbility and acted accordingly. And I would urge more such campaigns taken up by different Corporates to make India a better place to live in.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

The Return of the Tiger.

Tiger Tiger burning bright
In the forest of the night……

So the poem goes by one of the greatest tigers in Indian literature, that is Shri Rabindranath. Actually although some might call me mad, but the return of the tiger has really re-ignited the least watched sport on the planet before test cricket back to life.
And it is quite right , I did not understand why had he to go to a rehabilation centre. Now sports has nothing to do with your personal life. Just because some of the nice hypocrites you have to hide under the carpet and not do what you do the best.

Elegance , maturity , consistency (seems like the Accenture Ad) was the hall mark of the great Woods. It is sad that we always like to look the other side of the coin and not enjoy some of the greatest players in the history. Similar incidents have happened to Beckham, Cole and now recently John Terry all best in their uniforms, but sadly we tend to put more weightage on their personal lives rather than their on-field exploits. It is a welcome change to see the Tiger back on the green teeing off with some of the greats, but there is still a question to be asked. Will he be able to pull out the best in him. Remember not all have done this successfully, the shame and humiliation might just distract him from the real stuff, but he is the Tiger , if he cannot do it then no one can.

Not everyone has come off from layoffs very well, whether it is the Phenom Luis Ronaldo or even Rondaldhino they all are now a shadow of their best. It is hard after a long time to get back on track .Who better to explain then our very own Dada. Yes I know he averaged around 60 after his comeback, but his strike rate had gone down considerably, he was more subtle in his attacks, more resevered and we certainly do not like to see our Bengal Tiger scratching and with his broken nails. And that was what took him away from the team . A Dada who is not aggressive is not that useful after all. So as our Tiger (only 1411 left) chugs on in the IPL 3 scratching his way back into those classy offdrives we can only hope for the best for MR. Woods ( only 1 left)


It’s the IPL season again and with it brings a whole lot of new surprises. Getting first to the strategic break where the break of around 5 min has been reduced to two strategic breaks of 2.5 min each. Which the team takes only when it is mandatory. This is the most lamest tactic of earning quick bucks through the advertisements.

Secondly the ball by ball advertisements further adds to the agony of the viewers who still are much interested in the match. As it is with the overdose of the T20 cricket, people still don’t go for the entire 40 overs. Instead they are more interested in the first fice and the last five.

Thirdly the constant spotlight on the celebrity reaction too is a bit of a nuisance for a purist like me, where it is much better to watch the action replay of wicket fallen instead of SRK or a Priety (I never get her spelling right) cheering for no apparent reason. Damn they have earned their due.

Fourth the mongoose bat by Hayden. Now tell me why does HAydos need a mongoose. Already a giant of a man with the talent of a genius, come on now show us poor Indian bowlers some mercy we too are coming here to play not just be spectator of some of pretty hard mongoose hitting.

Fifth and the most important What the hell is DADA doing at the crease. It looks like a Jackson moonwalk everytime he tries to clear midwicket. Even his fielding has gone from worse to even worse. And moreover he has tried every position in the KKR batting lineup ,but to no avail.

Sixth our Indian team is getting injured like a bunch of oldies. We have to remember that we have T20 world cup coming up, with Gambhir, SEhwag, Yuvraj, Dhoni all having to visit the quacks things are not all looking bright for the Indian T20 squad. Do we have to bear another early exit from a major tournament.
And yes lastly with the way Sachin is batting I think he still has it in me to make it to the T20 squad. Any supporters???

Sunday, March 7, 2010


(Yeah I copied the title from TOI what are you gonna do, book me for diving)

After the Indian exit from the hockey world cup its time for some out of the D thinking (I would have called it box if it was about soccer).

Five things Mr. Gill besides politicking, nepotism, corruption, playing the blame game and the ruining one of the best teams that the world has seen should do to up their hockey game:

1. Instead of looking for hockey players in the domestic hockey team ( I don’t know if it exists) better look for it in the IPL, with T20 going great guns batsman are more keen on playing drag-flicks, taps over third man, or the falling away scoop (McCullum style) rather than our glances and drives. It seems sometimes they have been trained under Dhyan Chand Hockey Academy rather than NCA.

2. Look for them in our day time soaps, with so many twists and turns every day these so called stars can wriggle out of any defense be it Germans or the Dutch.

3. Go for students of IIT, I think they would have better sense of angles and quadrants rather than our hockey players.

4. Go for our chess players they are one of the best in the world, atleast they will not have any concentration lapses on field. (Phew how could you have concentration lapses when you are playing a world cup game)

5. Go for our soccer players atleast they know how to lose and be extremely gracious about it or even not giving any false promises of winning the world cup.
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