My rendevouz with a damn genie
One not so fine day I was walking across a lake and I happened to chance upon an empty beer can. When I by chance trying to see something was left to wet the man’s throat and suddenly from the cloud of smoke a damn genie appeared.
Then the regular conservations took place ( I really am tired of this stuff) and he decided to grant me a SINGLE wish. I asked him :
“ Damn man I was working like hell to release a genie who was going to grant my five wishes and here you are, and you are going to grant just a single wish, what are you hit by recession or something or stuck on a low paying job”
Genie:- “ Hey don’t damn me I am the genie here remember and first of all you were trying to wet your throat like all my other masters, that’s the reason why I first of all chose to be trapped under a beer bottle and not in some old-age antique lamp which nowadays usually ends up in a museum with high security, so no bloddy fool can either rub it or even touch it.
Secondly, yes I was hit by the slow-down hence I have to grant ur single wish. Now ask it fast so that I can be set free from this stinking low-grade roadside beer bottle.”
Me: Alright then no need to get so stuffy genie boy here’s ma wish “Give me shit loads of money”
Genie: One another thing before I got into this genie business I was a reputed lawyer in a big Boston Firm during the 1930 Great American Depression, hence do not use those words before me like “Stuffy” “shitloads” and “ma” , ( boy what a rustic idiot).
Now before I give you your shit loads of money I would like you to view your tax ramifications. Its like more than 33 % of your shit load. And according to me being a genie of the past a shit load would be around 1 lakh Rupees, if that is your currency. Hence you will be left with around 66000 rupees. Hence after some service taxes and all that kind of stuff you will left with 60000 bucks do you really want that option.
Me: Yeah what a genius you are Mr. genie so I would go for another wish
Genie: Go ahead lad
Me: What about making me the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. Good thing, name wealth steady income what more could a 22 year old would want. Ain’t I smart?
Genie: Not so smart lad. First of all I don’t think that you read your papers that much do you?. First of all a sudden emergence of a non-listed company inside the Fortune 500 would create a havoc inside the financial world. All the law firms and lawyers in the world would swoop down like vultures and will ask you to show your assets your source of revenue, your plans. What are you gonna tell them that you have genie in the beer bottle huh, Boy you are going to be trapped for a long time behind the bars.
Me: Hmmm… Then this is a tricky proposition and I am treading on dangerous waters( use of good language to impress the genie). After thinking long and hard for around 5 seconds Okay I have decided “Make me the owner of an already established company”
Genie: So you really want to get killed rather than go to jail hey lad. You really don’t read your papers. The moment you become the owner the real owner who might have to be killed, his brothers and sisters and the whole family will come hard on you. Not for avenge his death but to get that bloddy chair. And then you will be on parole of some pretty nasty cops and even on the list of some not very good men. So think boy think!
Me: Oh shit man, I did not know it was that hard to make a wish. I have seen guys on screen make very simple but stupid wishes. Like getting wisdom, knowledge, eternal life. Now why do you need any of these money alone is sufficient to cover all of these. My brain has already been racked by weighing your different options and I cannot think anymore. So the only thing right now I could think of is GO TO HELL MR. GENIE. I don’t want you see your face and thou shall rot in hell. So off you go into the stinking bottle of yours and never ever show your bloody face again.
Genie: Same old story eh!!!!
One not so fine day I was walking across a lake and I happened to chance upon an empty beer can. When I by chance trying to see something was left to wet the man’s throat and suddenly from the cloud of smoke a damn genie appeared.
Then the regular conservations took place ( I really am tired of this stuff) and he decided to grant me a SINGLE wish. I asked him :
“ Damn man I was working like hell to release a genie who was going to grant my five wishes and here you are, and you are going to grant just a single wish, what are you hit by recession or something or stuck on a low paying job”
Genie:- “ Hey don’t damn me I am the genie here remember and first of all you were trying to wet your throat like all my other masters, that’s the reason why I first of all chose to be trapped under a beer bottle and not in some old-age antique lamp which nowadays usually ends up in a museum with high security, so no bloddy fool can either rub it or even touch it.
Secondly, yes I was hit by the slow-down hence I have to grant ur single wish. Now ask it fast so that I can be set free from this stinking low-grade roadside beer bottle.”
Me: Alright then no need to get so stuffy genie boy here’s ma wish “Give me shit loads of money”
Genie: One another thing before I got into this genie business I was a reputed lawyer in a big Boston Firm during the 1930 Great American Depression, hence do not use those words before me like “Stuffy” “shitloads” and “ma” , ( boy what a rustic idiot).
Now before I give you your shit loads of money I would like you to view your tax ramifications. Its like more than 33 % of your shit load. And according to me being a genie of the past a shit load would be around 1 lakh Rupees, if that is your currency. Hence you will be left with around 66000 rupees. Hence after some service taxes and all that kind of stuff you will left with 60000 bucks do you really want that option.
Me: Yeah what a genius you are Mr. genie so I would go for another wish
Genie: Go ahead lad
Me: What about making me the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. Good thing, name wealth steady income what more could a 22 year old would want. Ain’t I smart?
Genie: Not so smart lad. First of all I don’t think that you read your papers that much do you?. First of all a sudden emergence of a non-listed company inside the Fortune 500 would create a havoc inside the financial world. All the law firms and lawyers in the world would swoop down like vultures and will ask you to show your assets your source of revenue, your plans. What are you gonna tell them that you have genie in the beer bottle huh, Boy you are going to be trapped for a long time behind the bars.
Me: Hmmm… Then this is a tricky proposition and I am treading on dangerous waters( use of good language to impress the genie). After thinking long and hard for around 5 seconds Okay I have decided “Make me the owner of an already established company”
Genie: So you really want to get killed rather than go to jail hey lad. You really don’t read your papers. The moment you become the owner the real owner who might have to be killed, his brothers and sisters and the whole family will come hard on you. Not for avenge his death but to get that bloddy chair. And then you will be on parole of some pretty nasty cops and even on the list of some not very good men. So think boy think!
Me: Oh shit man, I did not know it was that hard to make a wish. I have seen guys on screen make very simple but stupid wishes. Like getting wisdom, knowledge, eternal life. Now why do you need any of these money alone is sufficient to cover all of these. My brain has already been racked by weighing your different options and I cannot think anymore. So the only thing right now I could think of is GO TO HELL MR. GENIE. I don’t want you see your face and thou shall rot in hell. So off you go into the stinking bottle of yours and never ever show your bloody face again.
Genie: Same old story eh!!!!
lolzzz thats a brilliant take... poor genie couldnt even grant a wish :P its so difficult to wish for something these days :D
ReplyDeleteenjoyed reading the post :)
you were fortunate that you didnt get a priest as a genie!
ReplyDeletelol..funny:)
ReplyDeletedo check out my blog..anatreek.blogspot.com