Wednesday, April 21, 2010


How can a poor sports fan not that good academically study at a high time like this. The examinations are near and neigh and to add to that we have a spate of sporting spectacles that we just cannot take our eyes off. Actually targeted at a time when the bacha log and the baba log escaping from the hot sun are in for the summer vacations. We the post graduate laggards have to suffer the abomination of giving exams at this bloody time of the year.

We have the T20 IPL and following that the world cup coming up. We sleep live hear near and dear cricket at this time of the year. All you could hear is board meetings, yuvraj’s form sehwag’s injury Nehra’s selection, Uthappa’s omission. We would like to concentrate on the academically unsound subjects as well. But fate has it that we have to suffer the examinations at a very very bad time.

Add to this Chelsea giving a lifeline to Manu and you have the perfect combination to make me want to flunk these bloody days and get over it. Alas in India flunking is equal to poverty, high taxes and children going to Municipal schools. So to prevent my children going to Municipal schools I have to skip one of the most exciting and thrilling ending to an EPL season. What a shame.

IF we also consider the Champions league where the world’s best attacking lineup goes up against the world’s best defense , I am talking about the Inter Vs Barcelona match. All one can do is sneak peek to some of the breathtaking Messi moves, or a Cambiasso run. All these like some intoxicating drugs are pulling my kids from private schools and colleges to municipal run colleges.

This is more of test of my resistance and tempatation rather than a test of management skills and stuff like that. How can a living man resist things like these only you tell me MR. Almighty.

Friday, April 16, 2010


How to become a beggar in 10 easy ways:

1. Buy a stake in the Indian football clubs in the ONGC-I league. It’s a great way to lose money.

2. Try buying the stocks listed on the Economic Times. They are good at convincing you to throw your money.

3. Do an MBA from any damn college in India, they charge high but give nothing in return.

4. Try betting on the Indian cricket team for the next April’s T20 World Cup.

5. Turn into an all vegetarian diet, the foodflation is such you are bound to lose a lot of liquidity in liquidizing your stomach.

6. Start your mobile phone company you will be crushed under the competition.

7. Try selling original software in the Indian market.

8. Join Kapil Dev’s ICL.

9. Set up a turn key project in Bihar, boy that sure is gonna succeed.

10. Bet all your money on this blog hitting the 1000 mark in the next fiscal year.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010


In the dark of the night,

You pick up the best in sight,

The bush that brings the smoke,

Something that makes u choke,

They crush it ,

Then they brush it,

They remove it,

They dissolve it,

They fill it ,

Then they refill it,

They mix it,

Then they fix it,

They roll it

Before they burn it.

They inhale it,

Feels like an innocent mover,

They exhale it,

Feels still like a new found lover,

Then comes the spider, the dreaded spider,

It walks through the empty lane,

It crawls through the empty pipes,

Its legs being felt at every inch and corner,

Done to maximize that tingling sensation,

They feel good, but still haven’t been

Feelin’ this well for lives gone green,

Then suddenly you hear them,

You hear them loud you hear them clear,

You feel why some things are so near,

You see your dear,

You talk to your own bloody fear,

You smell the bush

It kills you with a slight push.

Your body fluid dries,

Your throat fries,

Under the moonless night you wonder

Whether it is worth or a bloody blunder,

You can hear ticks, you can hear the tweaks,

Why this is so clear, are we bloody freaks,

You start with a lisa smile,

It means you are taken for a mile,

Some call it a forelorn journey,

I call it a hard fought derby,

You try to fight for normalcy,

The harder you try, the more the intimacy,

You let yourself go,

With one good blow,

But still sounds don’t go,

Emptiness scare you,

People confuse you,

You try to steal a wink,

Alas its an armour with no chink,

You try to remember good ol’ days,

But alas there are only bad hot Mays,

Listen to the music,

Well it makes you sick,

It takes you left , it takes you right,

You try going straight with all your might,

You try to remember to forget,

But it is not that easy to take a bet.

You enjoy munchin

Cause you feel a fire in your belly,

The smoke might have died down

But the ash still remains,

It still blackens your brains

Like an unstoppable rain,

IT floods your thoughts,

You connect the connecting dots,

This might not rhyme well,

IT might sound like hell,

But this is a shit,

That only few can hear the bell.

Monday, April 5, 2010


Live like a dog , die like a dog

This is my memoir: - a bloody hardcore street-dog. Yes we dogs too have a memoir. I would like to thank the owner of this blog , a good friend whom I have chased a hell lot of times, for giving me this opportunity to write my painful story. Sorry I don’t have the time or space to write my painful story as told by the owner of the blog by throwing a stone on my face. Later in this post I would refer to him as just the “OWNER” Hence you as great readers have missed the chance of witnessing some of the tragic stories of all time. What an idiot this OWNER is? Still I would like to share with you my daily routine.
Sorry for the language we dogs don’t care much about that stuff. It is hard to bark in your mind and then write on MS office.

I get up early as 10 a.m. After a hell lot of chasing, the dog’s tired. He needs his sleep. Hence the first thing I do after getting up is pick-up fights with the nice homely dogs that they call “Thorough bred”. These are the dogs usually accompanied by oldies, and cute girlies. Both of whom cannot control a dog, who does nothing but walks on earth like he has never seen land, garbage and dirt before. Boy I live for that shit. These specially taken care or “Trained” dogs (sarcasm intended) move around like a misguided missile without a sense of direction here and there smelling everything from trees to plants to puddle (oh what immature little dogs). I don’t blame them they are so well kept and well-fed that they really have never stepped outside in the sun.

Among these trained dogs are also categories. The first is the Pomerian: the white furry little devil. I don’t why this species has been classified under dogs. Cause you know man I think this a cat with a lot of bloody fur on. Scared as hell he walks as if he just seen Scooby Doo. I have a large gang man. ME with other filthy dogs really scare the little man, he justs hopes that he dies soon enough.
Then the second to come is the German Shepherd. A hunter’s dog they say. But no match for us road-dogs. We are the scrappiest of them all. You might be pure breed but we are the strong breed. He might be lion at home but on the streets you better watch your paw, else you gonna see what the saying “Fight in the dog means”.
Then there are other undogly dogs who put us hard steelers to shame. They think that they real smart, but what do they know that in the street it is the street smart that wins.

Come noon and its time for the dogs nap. He hates it when some damn kid throws pebbles at the dog, when he is asleep. IT really pisses the lamp-post outta me. And yeah one warning to you readers don’t mess with the dog’s tail, its sort of a sympbol of pride for us dogs, you mess with it we mess with you. You don’t mess with it still we mess with you. Coz after all we dogs have our way.

Then comes the night, the most exciting time of ma day. I chase cars, chase bikes, chase men, chase everyone. I become Bond of Quantum of Solace. You got that real smart quip. Cars are the most favourite, that one time I chased an SUV, the driver got so scared that he hit a tree. Later the cops found out that there was cocaine stashed in the hood. Ma’s happiest day of life. Done something for the country. Sent application for the president’s medal , was rejected , Bloody beauracrats. Then at late midnight the real stuff begins. We at gang war with rival gangs over territory. We don’t want any dog to get into our territory and eat our food, drink our water, get dirty in our mud, chase our cars, chase our bikes. Got that really pisses the man off!!.

WE like crocs really territorial. Occassionally we do get cats in our territory but only with the permission of the man. See we dogs do have hearts. And lastly the OWNER is now really mad at the man he is comin with a stick so gotta go, if I get time I will publish ma book and may even win the Poker Prize or is it the Booker Prize. Anyways gotta go.
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