Saturday, October 22, 2011

Anger Management

Well, we all get angry at some point of time in our life. (Points of life should be more appropriate). Its human tendency and we are bound to give in. Hence making grave mistakes in the process. Whether its shouting back at your boss, at your teacher, at a intellectual bore, at an interesting idiot, at a bomb carrying terrorist who wants a keen ear, a failed writer who wants rave reviews for the piece of crap he has just written and so on and  so forth.
In the end it has all ended up in some pretty bad experiences, like the intellectual bore becoming inspired and winning the nobel, the failed writer going on to become the next Chetan Bhagat by writing some more crap, or the bomber getting five star treatment by being caught after a frustrated massacre.
Well as a low-down no-good advertiser I will give you 5 GREAT ways to control your demons.
1. Whenever you feel angry, start praying to God. Well you might think that this low down no good advertiser is nuts and bolts, but think about it, when you pray, you connect to your inner being, after connecting to your inner being you can say all that cuss words, bad words, swear words to your low down no good inner being and emerge out satisfied. Your inner being is way too "in" and not too good to really have a back lash from that guy. So its a great thing after all.

2. Start hitting the nearest concrete with all the brute force,might,strength you might have. No I am not channelizing your energy to make you the next Rocky Balboa and have six sequels of movies and one great soundtrack. Neither am I making you a structural engineer checking the load that the nearest concrete wall can take. I am telling you this because after you hit the nearest concrete wall with all your might your knuckles will sore, and your fingers will pain, making itching a laborious exercise. After this you might not get angry.

3. Start shouting cuss words, swear words etc. Again I am not here to inspire you to become the protaganist of Delhi Belly or become the hot headed Clint Eastwood. Shouting cuss words, swear words will tell people that you have watched Delhi Belly thrice and are still to recover from its hangover. Now thtat's not good for your rep.

4. Start finding the person who said that counting to 10 controls your anger. Because when you are angry your determination and dedication to doing an activity goes up considerably. And this exercise of finding the person actually can lead you to finding the above mentioned person. And when you do find that person, count to 10 and I am sure your anger will not come down. Then hit him 20 times like a possessed Arnold Schwazwatevernagar and tell him to stop put bullshit ideas into frustrated minds.

5. The fifth, I am now angry writing about anger management. So while I  pray-hit the concrete wall-cuss someone and count 10 .... I need to start controlling my own anger..
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