Monday, June 21, 2010


These are some easy to do steps in the quest to become the ultimate rockstar. Although care has been taken to provide as accurate data as possible but following these steps does not guarantee the rock star status.

I will employ a top bottom down approach to become the ultimate rock star.

First of all your hair. Either cut it very short to the point of baldness or let it grow like hell. Either way you can get that rockstar feel which you can flaunt at will. But remember when not in use (i.e. When not using your hair for head banging keep it neatly tied behind the back, otherwise it can cause hell lot of problems like getting entangled in trees, bushes,poison ivy or being an interactive gateway for some of nature's best like birds building nest. For them your head would seem like Beverly hills mansion.)

Second your eyebrows shall remain pierced at all times. Even though you cannot see where you are going or you get an eye infection still you shall maintain your eyebrows pierced.
Caution: Use stainless steel accessories for eye brow piercing or you might just get rust in your eyes.

Third comes your beard it should be flowing like Archimedes or even Galileo. Or it should be shaped into some kind of Japanese origamy. Either way your aim should be to look as wierd as possible.

Your ears should look like some magician has inserted the sword of excalibur into your ears and after a fountain of blood gushes you have sealed it using some cheap adhesive. Again either way it should look wierd.

Your torso including your hands should be covered in tattoo with some wierd sanskrit literature which no one including you understand. IT could be some poem learnt in school or even Sanskrit grammar that no person in this living world can understand.

Yes the important get guitar in hand even if you cannot play it this part is necassary. You cannot play along saying that i m the lead vocalist. Nobody will believe you. So even if you are the vocalist a guitar in hand is a must. Metallica :- A Case in point.

Then comes the useless part the legs or lower limbs. It should be as thin as possible. Don't ask me why but researching about 100 successful bands there is a direct correlation between thin legs and the success of the band. The thinner the average size of the legs of all members the more hits the band has. Legend has it the band members make maintain thin legs so that when the drummer forgets his sticks due to drug overdose any one band member can volunteer as the drum sticks.

So here it is the important points that you need to consider to become the next big thing in the rock n roll industry.

Disclaimer: These are suggestions based on research by a reliable source, following these steps is not going to ensure success in the above mentioned business. Hence any litigation will not be seriously considered.

1 comment:

  1. the new look of the blog is awesome. Probably the creative cream has startd flowing. if at all u need some inputs from real rockstars let me know. i shall see wat me and my group kn do 4 u.


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