Wednesday, March 28, 2012

HATE IT WHEN THEY CALL ME 100

Yes i hate it when they call me  out everytime some short curly guy walks on to the field. I hate it when he can't reach me and everybody from media to mania is after me analyzing dialyzing why the short guy can't reach me.
Am i so unreachable, untouchable and desired that around 10 raise to 7 times me people want a short guy to reach me. Really sad!!! I would say, because i am not that special.
I am a simple number, one of trillionths, achieved through the press of a calculator, stroke of a graphite lead, mild fever, boiling water, but why have you Indians, yes especially made me special. What's so damn good about me. Is the two zeroes at the end so attractive, so alluring. I don't think so.
Because there are trillions of numbers with more zeroes in the end, and there are more trendier numbers than me.  Take an example 7, yeah now thats cool. You are svelte seven, the seven in the deck of cards. Hell I am not even in that deck of cards. Or for that matter the mercurial 9. I am nine and i am raging bull says the effervescent nine.
But to some extent it is Indians who have made me famous, right from the birth the child is taught " Boy what are gonna bring". Mama I am gonna score me out of me.
Or the basketball coach saying " Give me your me% men"
Or the doctor saying "The fever's gone beyond me(author) we need to get him hospitalized"
Or the high flying executive" I am me% sure that this would work, even though deep down inside he knows his plan sucks
Its me everywhere; what's with you guys anyways.
And Cricket is always obssessed with me. While baseball statistics never go above 0.5, golf never goes above 18, F1 never goes above 19, Tour de france never goes above some kms (was getting cheeky there), but my point is Cricket wants me. Every statistician,, selector, self acclaimed critic looks at me like i am the Holy Grail. Who will reach me fastest in terms of runs, catches, wickets, stumpings a.nd God knows what!!
Even the umpires are not left out in this mad contest. Like Mr. X is standing in his "me"th Test,(Oh like he was sitting in his previous 99).
Players feel really happy when they reach me, they kiss the ground, wave at the crowd, show fingers at opposition, look upto heaven, and do all kinds of hysterical stuff. Boy are they jubilant
Even bloody products don't really care using me around. Recently Coke launched "Me" series, showing the curly guy from Mumbai in all kinds of gestures.
Anyhow I am happy that the curly guys has reached me. He has straightened his hair a little but it will curl soon. Atleast for now millions can breathe easy when he reaches near me.

But wait for now, cause another bushy browed young man is after me. He is tough aggressive and determined. People say there can be only one God and by God I mean that curly guy. But from what I see from the bushy browed young man is that he is a go getter and bloody he is more than hell bent to get to me in a more extrovert manner. So lets see who gets to me, TILL THEN SACH ENJOY ME TILL I LAST.

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