Life cycel of a software project

The life cycle of a software project which is built by two master minds both expert in goofing things up in the extreme is quite different from the software development lifecycle in actual. I would like the compare the two different life cycles in two very different perspectives. The two perspective that I would like to bring forth are one an IBM software project manager known as Ben and other of the two masterminds combined known as ajni no, its not a short form of Gajni.

Ben; The standard requirement gathering of a project that is why we need the project and what purpose will it serve to the company.
Ajni: Requirement gathering which includes knowing whether we have any idea about the project ,ever heard of this name, is there another prototype available on the internet.(Notice how the author uses the subtle ,scientific term prototype for shameless plagiarism). Does the team beside you have any idea about the project, the tools required and is he an expert at coding (cause at the end its his damn project and not ours). Only after such minor details are covered do the two master minds accept the project.

Ben: After knowing the problem statement we start designing the project. the architecture of the project the user interface of the project , the database design of the project etc.

Ajni: After the problem statement has been forcefully given to the master minds after rejecting many other projects and threatening to be removed from the organization and throwing tantrums by the project guide ,the master minds set to look-out for any similar projects available on the Internet, by typing simply the name of the project on Google, wikipedia and other such search engines.

Ben : After having designed the application the coding of the software begins by the team members indulge in some rigorous coding and developing of the software creating loops and nested loops and constructs calling and uncalling of the functions ,passing variables and bugging and debugging the code.

Ajni: After knowing that not everything can be found on Google harassment of the team beside you begins by rigorously putting them under undue stress so that they can code our application instead of doing theirs ,giving them temptation of gaining valuable experience of doing two projects at once and knowing the pressures of corporate world.

Ben: After coding comes vigorous black box testing and white box testing and other testing and if many errors are found the code is sent to the development phase again to recode it.
Ajni: After the team beside you completes your project you start to wonder whether you should have taken up the course in human psychology instead of computers. Breaking two software professionals is not easy.

Ben: After testing the code is implemented on the client system. eliminating the legacy systems.
Ajni:After the project is completed the snapshots are taken and put up in the slideshow to show that the code is not exposed by the company.