SHOOT OVERDOSE

Shoot has been one of the overused words in recent history. It basically means killing something with a bloody shotgun. But in a more sophisticated manner it means TO CONVEY YOUR IDEAS. People like to use it anywhere and everywhere. Silly words like this really are being used to simply reinforce the fact that the person using these words is a cool guy. This is the Americanisation of the language. Yes it is good but sometimes we use it so much that it really makes no sense of the word.




For example

You have an idea then shoot it. ( should I convey the idea or really shoot it)



You want to shoot something? Okay go ahead and shoot it. ( Please take care it is not an endagered species)



Shoot whatever you want but shoot it real fast. ( I can't shoot it any faster because the gun has a bullet released/trigger pressed of 2. Maybe I could use two guns)



Sometimes poeple like to combine one silly word with another just for the fun for it.



For example

Shoot the shit out of your mouth. ( Hey I can shit only from one place)



Shoot yourself if you can't shoot better than this. (Where is the gun I want to end here and now, Thank you cruel world for making me do this)



Shoot what you can hit. ( here shoot and hit both mean the same thing, Research is still is going on about this phrase)



You can shoot whatever you like but it ain't hitting me. (Yeah I need to improve my static target hitting skills)



Don't shoot in the dark( you might reduce the tiger's population to 1410)



Shooting ain't your game. ( Yeah I think blowing buildings off is more to my like it)



Shoot one more thing and I am literally shooting you. ( Oh yeah try me, I have mastered moving target hitting)

The SECOND STRINGER

Second string

Second String Second String

Does it sound any ring

we are the second strings

We remain on the fringes

We play like hell

We work like hell

But still remain second

why leave us out being reckoned.

We may be second, but are second to none,

We are bloody workers we won't rest till the work is done,

Then why this prejudice

Why this injustice

To the people who remain second string

First team falters, are given chances,

We falter are thrown dirty glances,

What need we do to become the first team

Why are they played even though they lose steam,

Why risk losing

It is better than taking a shot at winning

We are firebred, we are baptised by fire

Still why being neglected to hire

Why do all first teamers have to be the second stringers first

Why can't people see the second stringers thirst,

All said and done I hope I don't

Get lost in the oblivion as a second stringer.

RICHES TO RAGS STORY

How to become a beggar in 10 easy ways:




1. Buy a stake in the Indian football clubs in the ONGC-I league. It’s a great way to lose money.



2. Try buying the stocks listed on the Economic Times. They are good at convincing you to throw your money.



3. Do an MBA from any damn college in India, they charge high but give nothing in return.



4. Try betting on the Indian cricket team for the next April’s T20 World Cup.



5. Turn into an all vegetarian diet, the foodflation is such you are bound to lose a lot of liquidity in liquidizing your stomach.



6. Start your mobile phone company you will be crushed under the competition.


7. Try selling original software in the Indian market.


8. Join Kapil Dev’s ICL.


9. Set up a turn key project in Bihar, boy that sure is gonna succeed.


10. Bet all your money on this blog hitting the 1000 mark in the next fiscal year.

LIFE :-> A DOG's PERPECTIVE

Live like a dog , die like a dog

This is my memoir: - a bloody hardcore street-dog. Yes we dogs too have a memoir. I would like to thank the owner of this blog , a good friend whom I have chased a hell lot of times, for giving me this opportunity to write my painful story. Sorry I don’t have the time or space to write my painful story as told by the owner of the blog by throwing a stone on my face. Later in this post I would refer to him as just the “OWNER” Hence you as great readers have missed the chance of witnessing some of the tragic stories of all time. What an idiot this OWNER is? Still I would like to share with you my daily routine.
Sorry for the language we dogs don’t care much about that stuff. It is hard to bark in your mind and then write on MS office.

I get up early as 10 a.m. After a hell lot of chasing, the dog’s tired. He needs his sleep. Hence the first thing I do after getting up is pick-up fights with the nice homely dogs that they call “Thorough bred”. These are the dogs usually accompanied by oldies, and cute girlies. Both of whom cannot control a dog, who does nothing but walks on earth like he has never seen land, garbage and dirt before. Boy I live for that shit. These specially taken care or “Trained” dogs (sarcasm intended) move around like a misguided missile without a sense of direction here and there smelling everything from trees to plants to puddle (oh what immature little dogs). I don’t blame them they are so well kept and well-fed that they really have never stepped outside in the sun.

Among these trained dogs are also categories. The first is the Pomerian: the white furry little devil. I don’t why this species has been classified under dogs. Cause you know man I think this a cat with a lot of bloody fur on. Scared as hell he walks as if he just seen Scooby Doo. I have a large gang man. ME with other filthy dogs really scare the little man, he justs hopes that he dies soon enough.
Then the second to come is the German Shepherd. A hunter’s dog they say. But no match for us road-dogs. We are the scrappiest of them all. You might be pure breed but we are the strong breed. He might be lion at home but on the streets you better watch your paw, else you gonna see what the saying “Fight in the dog means”.
Then there are other undogly dogs who put us hard steelers to shame. They think that they real smart, but what do they know that in the street it is the street smart that wins.

Come noon and its time for the dogs nap. He hates it when some damn kid throws pebbles at the dog, when he is asleep. IT really pisses the lamp-post outta me. And yeah one warning to you readers don’t mess with the dog’s tail, its sort of a sympbol of pride for us dogs, you mess with it we mess with you. You don’t mess with it still we mess with you. Coz after all we dogs have our way.

Then comes the night, the most exciting time of ma day. I chase cars, chase bikes, chase men, chase everyone. I become Bond of Quantum of Solace. You got that real smart quip. Cars are the most favourite, that one time I chased an SUV, the driver got so scared that he hit a tree. Later the cops found out that there was cocaine stashed in the hood. Ma’s happiest day of life. Done something for the country. Sent application for the president’s medal , was rejected , Bloody beauracrats. Then at late midnight the real stuff begins. We at gang war with rival gangs over territory. We don’t want any dog to get into our territory and eat our food, drink our water, get dirty in our mud, chase our cars, chase our bikes. Got that really pisses the man off!!.

WE like crocs really territorial. Occassionally we do get cats in our territory but only with the permission of the man. See we dogs do have hearts. And lastly the OWNER is now really mad at the man he is comin with a stick so gotta go, if I get time I will publish ma book and may even win the Poker Prize or is it the Booker Prize. Anyways gotta go.

RENDEVOUS WITH A GENIE

My rendevouz with a damn genie

One not so fine day I was walking across a lake and I happened to chance upon an empty beer can. When I by chance trying to see something was left to wet the man’s throat and suddenly from the cloud of smoke a damn genie appeared.

Then the regular conservations took place ( I really am tired of this stuff) and he decided to grant me a SINGLE wish. I asked him :
“ Damn man I was working like hell to release a genie who was going to grant my five wishes and here you are, and you are going to grant just a single wish, what are you hit by recession or something or stuck on a low paying job”

Genie:- “ Hey don’t damn me I am the genie here remember and first of all you were trying to wet your throat like all my other masters, that’s the reason why I first of all chose to be trapped under a beer bottle and not in some old-age antique lamp which nowadays usually ends up in a museum with high security, so no bloddy fool can either rub it or even touch it.
Secondly, yes I was hit by the slow-down hence I have to grant ur single wish. Now ask it fast so that I can be set free from this stinking low-grade roadside beer bottle.”

Me: Alright then no need to get so stuffy genie boy here’s ma wish “Give me shit loads of money”

Genie: One another thing before I got into this genie business I was a reputed lawyer in a big Boston Firm during the 1930 Great American Depression, hence do not use those words before me like “Stuffy” “shitloads” and “ma” , ( boy what a rustic idiot).
Now before I give you your shit loads of money I would like you to view your tax ramifications. Its like more than 33 % of your shit load. And according to me being a genie of the past a shit load would be around 1 lakh Rupees, if that is your currency. Hence you will be left with around 66000 rupees. Hence after some service taxes and all that kind of stuff you will left with 60000 bucks do you really want that option.

Me: Yeah what a genius you are Mr. genie so I would go for another wish

Genie: Go ahead lad

Me: What about making me the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. Good thing, name wealth steady income what more could a 22 year old would want. Ain’t I smart?

Genie: Not so smart lad. First of all I don’t think that you read your papers that much do you?. First of all a sudden emergence of a non-listed company inside the Fortune 500 would create a havoc inside the financial world. All the law firms and lawyers in the world would swoop down like vultures and will ask you to show your assets your source of revenue, your plans. What are you gonna tell them that you have genie in the beer bottle huh, Boy you are going to be trapped for a long time behind the bars.

Me: Hmmm… Then this is a tricky proposition and I am treading on dangerous waters( use of good language to impress the genie). After thinking long and hard for around 5 seconds Okay I have decided “Make me the owner of an already established company”

Genie: So you really want to get killed rather than go to jail hey lad. You really don’t read your papers. The moment you become the owner the real owner who might have to be killed, his brothers and sisters and the whole family will come hard on you. Not for avenge his death but to get that bloddy chair. And then you will be on parole of some pretty nasty cops and even on the list of some not very good men. So think boy think!

Me: Oh shit man, I did not know it was that hard to make a wish. I have seen guys on screen make very simple but stupid wishes. Like getting wisdom, knowledge, eternal life. Now why do you need any of these money alone is sufficient to cover all of these. My brain has already been racked by weighing your different options and I cannot think anymore. So the only thing right now I could think of is GO TO HELL MR. GENIE. I don’t want you see your face and thou shall rot in hell. So off you go into the stinking bottle of yours and never ever show your bloody face again.

Genie: Same old story eh!!!!