WAGON R: Ad Review

This latest Wagon R TVC features Madhavan and the Roadies brothers in a 45 second ad. It may not be the  greatest of the TVC that you have ever seen nor is it a creative hot pot. It is actually a run-of-the-mill TVC with nothing much to give. 

However despite its tried and tested formula, it has lots to offer. The first good thing that I noticed in this ad, is that it actually shows the product. Recently I have come across many TV ads which actually don't show the product especially car ads. Gone are the days when Car ads boasted of engine capacity, fuel injection leather seats, mileage and colour. Today its all about the mountains, hills, models, actors, jobs etc. for a Car ad.

Refreshingly this ad shows the product. Another good thing is the choice of the ambassador to promote the product. Wagon R has already made its name as a family car replacing Hyundai Santro especially in the mid-income segment. You go to any Tier 2 city of India and you will find a Wagon R in almost every home. 

Through this TVC it has actually tried to break this notion. It doesn't believe in the old adage of Focus it actually wants to increase its customer base by targeting young executives and professionals who value their status. It is targeting 27-30 year olds who have a good deal of disposable income at their side and wouldn't mind shelling a few extra bucks for the comfort of a car.

Storyboarding is pretty simple, dialogues pathetic but again the admen for this TVC are pretty clear with what they want to achieve through this commercial. However lack of creativity has made it a bit dull. Hence as a reviewer I would rate it at 3 out of 5.

Supersloth: The lazy no good salesman

HATE IT WHEN THEY CALL ME 100

Yes i hate it when they call me  out everytime some short curly guy walks on to the field. I hate it when he can't reach me and everybody from media to mania is after me analyzing dialyzing why the short guy can't reach me.
Am i so unreachable, untouchable and desired that around 10 raise to 7 times me people want a short guy to reach me. Really sad!!! I would say, because i am not that special.
I am a simple number, one of trillionths, achieved through the press of a calculator, stroke of a graphite lead, mild fever, boiling water, but why have you Indians, yes especially made me special. What's so damn good about me. Is the two zeroes at the end so attractive, so alluring. I don't think so.
Because there are trillions of numbers with more zeroes in the end, and there are more trendier numbers than me.  Take an example 7, yeah now thats cool. You are svelte seven, the seven in the deck of cards. Hell I am not even in that deck of cards. Or for that matter the mercurial 9. I am nine and i am raging bull says the effervescent nine.
But to some extent it is Indians who have made me famous, right from the birth the child is taught " Boy what are gonna bring". Mama I am gonna score me out of me.
Or the basketball coach saying " Give me your me% men"
Or the doctor saying "The fever's gone beyond me(author) we need to get him hospitalized"
Or the high flying executive" I am me% sure that this would work, even though deep down inside he knows his plan sucks
Its me everywhere; what's with you guys anyways.
And Cricket is always obssessed with me. While baseball statistics never go above 0.5, golf never goes above 18, F1 never goes above 19, Tour de france never goes above some kms (was getting cheeky there), but my point is Cricket wants me. Every statistician,, selector, self acclaimed critic looks at me like i am the Holy Grail. Who will reach me fastest in terms of runs, catches, wickets, stumpings a.nd God knows what!!
Even the umpires are not left out in this mad contest. Like Mr. X is standing in his "me"th Test,(Oh like he was sitting in his previous 99).
Players feel really happy when they reach me, they kiss the ground, wave at the crowd, show fingers at opposition, look upto heaven, and do all kinds of hysterical stuff. Boy are they jubilant
Even bloody products don't really care using me around. Recently Coke launched "Me" series, showing the curly guy from Mumbai in all kinds of gestures.
Anyhow I am happy that the curly guys has reached me. He has straightened his hair a little but it will curl soon. Atleast for now millions can breathe easy when he reaches near me.

But wait for now, cause another bushy browed young man is after me. He is tough aggressive and determined. People say there can be only one God and by God I mean that curly guy. But from what I see from the bushy browed young man is that he is a go getter and bloody he is more than hell bent to get to me in a more extrovert manner. So lets see who gets to me, TILL THEN SACH ENJOY ME TILL I LAST.

Anger Management

Well, we all get angry at some point of time in our life. (Points of life should be more appropriate). Its human tendency and we are bound to give in. Hence making grave mistakes in the process. Whether its shouting back at your boss, at your teacher, at a intellectual bore, at an interesting idiot, at a bomb carrying terrorist who wants a keen ear, a failed writer who wants rave reviews for the piece of crap he has just written and so on and  so forth.
In the end it has all ended up in some pretty bad experiences, like the intellectual bore becoming inspired and winning the nobel, the failed writer going on to become the next Chetan Bhagat by writing some more crap, or the bomber getting five star treatment by being caught after a frustrated massacre.
Well as a low-down no-good advertiser I will give you 5 GREAT ways to control your demons.

1. Whenever you feel angry, start praying to God. Well you might think that this low down no good advertiser is nuts and bolts, but think about it, when you pray, you connect to your inner being, after connecting to your inner being you can say all that cuss words, bad words, swear words to your low down no good inner being and emerge out satisfied. Your inner being is way too "in" and not too good to really have a back lash from that guy. So its a great thing after all.


2. Start hitting the nearest concrete with all the brute force,might,strength you might have. No I am not channelizing your energy to make you the next Rocky Balboa and have six sequels of movies and one great soundtrack. Neither am I making you a structural engineer checking the load that the nearest concrete wall can take. I am telling you this because after you hit the nearest concrete wall with all your might your knuckles will sore, and your fingers will pain, making itching a laborious exercise. After this you might not get angry.


3. Start shouting cuss words, swear words etc. Again I am not here to inspire you to become the protaganist of Delhi Belly or become the hot headed Clint Eastwood. Shouting cuss words, swear words will tell people that you have watched Delhi Belly thrice and are still to recover from its hangover. Now thtat's not good for your rep.


4. Start finding the person who said that counting to 10 controls your anger. Because when you are angry your determination and dedication to doing an activity goes up considerably. And this exercise of finding the person actually can lead you to finding the above mentioned person. And when you do find that person, count to 10 and I am sure your anger will not come down. Then hit him 20 times like a possessed Arnold Schwazwatevernagar and tell him to stop put bullshit ideas into frustrated minds.


5. The fifth, I am now angry writing about anger management. So while I  pray-hit the concrete wall-cuss someone and count 10 .... I need to start controlling my own anger..

Gadgetry Overload

Sports is one thing that keeps changing with time. No matter what sports you see, overtime it has become faster, quicker and much more watchable. The good old days have gone, the new age style meets substance is in. Take for example football. In the old days it were played on muddy grounds with natural grass, many times which slowed down the ball and during rains slowed down the players. Shots were unpredictable, and many times tricked even the best of the goal-keepers. But overtime if we see all that has changed, with the latest turfs that are smooth as hell it seems players are playing on a giant billiards table rather than a football field. Shots have become faster, with modern technology balls have become lighter and more vicious. Players now can impart hair pin bends,curves, dips to the innocent football. Really its time we called it swerve ball. Also the speed of the game has picked up drastically. Computerized strategies, video tapes have all added to the sharpness of the game played between the posts. 

Likewise if we see all other games have similar conditions. Whether its cricket, a 300 plus score is no longer safe. Quality pieces of willow where even edges can go for a six have murdered the bowlers. With batsmen too being studied through the microscopic lens, it has become imperative for teams to constantly reinvent and innovate style.

However that is not the point of this post. The one thing that has not changed over the years is Test Cricket. Though the pitches have become flatter, more information is available about opposition still the essence of Test Cricket has never changed. You still have to guts it out. Stroke making with bigger bats is no use in the first hour of a decent pitch. This has been reinforced with the ongoing series between England and Sri Lanka. Quality pitches by the English have proven that Sri Lanka which dominated the English in the world cup still doesn't have the technique to hold fort the English bowlers. They had been finished in under 25 overs in the final day and this is the World Cup semi finalist that I am talking about.

Coming back to Test Cricket you see nothing has changed. Fast bowlers are still rare and quality leg spinners rarer. Everybody wants to become the finger spinner who bowls off breaks which do not turn. If we see today the only "Fast" bowler that we have today in Dale Steyn who can really clock it up with deadly swing and accuracy. His post lunch 15 overs to Sachin and Co will be remembered where he was not nearly but completely unplayable. We have few quality off-spinners around like "Harbhajan on a good day where he understands that he is there to bowl and take wickets and not there to do a Yusuf Pathan", Saeed Ajmal a truly world class chucker, whose doosra turns like a leg spin, but his arm is bent over 90 degrees. So that leaves us with only Graeme Swann with his quality thought processed off spin. There is a method to his off spin bowling,something which has been lacking in all his contemporaries. 

Leg spin is dead. And I thank Shane Warne for providing us glimpses of the dying art in the recently concluded IPL. So unless Steve Smith is mutated, I don't think we are going to see leg spin for a long time. 

Special thanks to Daniel Vettori to establish that left arm spin is an art that can trouble even the best and not something to be tonked by coming down the ground.

Thanks again to VVS Laxman to show the world that wrist can also be used to create breathtaking strokes and not just bowl leg breaks.

I think the main reason why Test Cricket has not changed is because it has a great deal of mental aspect to it. Its all in the mind rather than in your technique. Yes you need solid technique to play it but an even better temperament to conquer it. And that sadly is a rarity. Anyone can flay bowlers for two overs on a flat batting track with no nothing. But only a few can stay there under immense pressure on  a cracking wicket, when the lead is more than 500.

The point I want to make is that if people say that cricket might not require a great deal of physical stamina but it does require a mental makeup of that of a chessman.

BEAUTY AINT NOTHING

Beauty lies…

It lies in the sound of thrash metal, the eeriness of Gothic rock, the clanging of metal heads, the burst of drums, the feast of eardrums.

Lies in the mesemerising Messi, appearing busy,

Lies in Einstein’s grey matter, also in dark matter

The composition of an orchestra,

 The smoke of a Cuban Cigar,

Flicks  through midwicket, swings on  a deadwicket, voice of a buried cricket,

Poetry of Milton, Motion of wordsworth

Clattering keyboards,

Dead ducks,

Highness of royalty, rock bottom poverty,

Greatness achieved, chances missed, success surpassed,

Creative bursts, unleashed Thrusts,

frustrations released, concentrations fixed,

Flight of a bird,

Logic absurd,

Throwing up, getting up, Dusting down, Racing through,

Dreaming on, On Song

Lonely crowds, Blistering sounds, Rabid hounds,

Creeping fears, Nearing shadows,

Longer days, Lengthier nights,

Fighting haze & Dying dazed.

Things great people say

Ever wondered how do great people conduct themselves. By great people I mean not those that are actually great (i.e Sachin, Steve Waugh, Veerappan, Bill Gates, Google guys etc.) I mean those that think they are great. Well if you too want to emulate this kind of greatness, its damn easy. Here are a few tips, tricks, blips, bloopers and blunders which will launch you to the platform of greatness.

Its all about talking the right way, having some weird hand gestures and Boom "You are Great".

Statutory Warning: Before you read this post, I want to assure you that such kind of greatness will only give you limited visibility, cheap publicity, a lot of enemies and a lot of nincompoops who will call themselves your friends. But yes I will also assure you that such greatness will also give immediate attention that your worthless life never had.

Now as I said the key is saying the right words. For example: What is the thing that people today are most afraid of. No not another 9/11, its the STOCK MARKET. Yes the key to all uncertainties is stock market hence also the key to all fears. So how do you use this to your advantage. Well simple when in public say things like

"Hey Reliance showed good movement today"

" Man I just cannot predict where this market is gonna take me"

" I just researched some really good stocks, but they are for a longer term"

If you see the language that I used is very simple. Everyone knows that Reliance is gonna give some movement whether its  upwards or downwards. No bloody nostra dam all of us can predict the stock market. And in the long term every stock does good business.

So by saying all this, shows that you are a real good financial person who knows a lot about markets, movements and research. That's it you have achieved financial greatness!!!

Now lets go to smarter things in life. This can be explained in a much better by a good friend of mine, but anyways I ll try my best. Now we are moving to gadgetry greatness.

Say things like

" Hey Apple launched a new i- " x" . Now this x can be replaced by phone, tank, store, bank, cash, wash, basin or any word that you can catch hold on. It is on a launching spree. They are trying to emulate the US Defence forces which launches rockets, wars, biological weapons, videos on youtube etc.

Or you can say "Heard that Java is updating its software" Again Java keeps updating something or the other  just to make the lives of the people working on it miserable.

Or you can say "Facebook has just tweaked its privacy settings" Again a company obsessed with privacy. If FB was established in India it would have been labeled as a bank. Its that safe.

Or you can say " A company X has just launched a mobile Y which has A mega pixel camera with Cg facilites , GPRS, GPS, PPM etc. Here X can be named after a God , Y can be replaced by a weird name like A3, my2 etc. And A and C can be replaced by any number that you can think of. (Remember the game "think of a number" ) .

So now you have achieved gadgetry Greatness!!! (notice the use of three exclamation marks just to show you that you are great already!!!)

Now I am pretty bored showing my greatness, this post can go on and on about ways and means to increase your rep, but as I said I am a blogger not a novelist. So go ahead flaunt your greatness!!!